Mortar Board

I never said did I? I'm a fully fledged graduate. Picked up my piece of paper, shook the man's hand, wore the outfit (not necessarily in that order) and everything! Go me.

// song at time of writing: Get It Together - The Go! Team

Car Stickers

Sh*t Happens

City Dwellers

Went to London today, now I feel shattered. I may even go to bed before 12 which for me is very rare, very rare indeed.

// song at time of writing: Something Better Change - The Stranglers

Need Some Focus

And I don't just mean something to set my sights on - which obviously would be useful. Why can I not get my photos in focus?! I picked up a film today that i got developed and most are out of focus; a couple aren't bad but I just feel so dissappointed when that happens. Maybe somebody will teach me.

First day at work today; was only supposed to be 3 hours, but ended up as 6 so that was alright (bit of the extra money thing). Have to go in at 9 tomorrow.

And at dinner today I was actually talking to my family about art and the way people interpret it - sounds obscure to me now when I say that but it's true. We had the 'Art School' BBC2 on the tv and actually had a discussion about art. Weird.

// Task: To spend at least 30 minutes on my portfolio - Done
// song at time of writing: In The Name Of Love - U2

Pick Up The Pen

I like handwritten letters. There is something so personal about them. Receiving one always puts a smile on my face; and in this day and age they're a rare treat. Desks these days don't have endless supplies of pens, instead endless supplies of removable storage media. I find that sad.

Failed yet another task on Saturday, I didn't set one for Sunday. Monday I'll start over.

And Monday is also my first day in my new job with books. Here's to working in a bookshop. My third job since moving back home. Maybe some web company will realise my potential by the end of the year and snap me up. *dream dream dream*.

// song at time of writing: Bird Stealing Bread - Iron And Wire

For The Last Time

Ooh, it's my last night tonight! I told most of them yesterday that I was leaving, and they actually sounded genuinely surprised. I'll be glad when it's over though.

It was sooo cold this morning at 6.00, had to scrape the windscreen. Mind you I'm cold now.

So, I'm already getting slack about doing my little tasks. I didn't do my task for Friday - To cycle for 15 minutes. As a forfeit I will have to cycle for twice as long; I'll save it for during the week though, hehe.

I'm a bit all over the place today, not too sure what I'm doing, or maybe what I should be doing. Think it's one of those non days where you don't exactly do much of any worth. Wouldn't it be something to do something of worth everyday? I don't mean something that changes the lives of others necessarily, but something of worth to yourself; let's be realistic.

// song at time of writing: She drove me to daytime television - Funeral For A Friend

Heavy Eyes

Well, just got back from work; now I only have two nights left. I think I may go to sleep now though because I'm bound to get woken up early for some reason or other.

Technically it's still yesterday (I haven't been to sleep yet) so..

// Task: To apply to at least 3 jobs - Done

Spam or Ham

I see the spammers have found me.

// song at time of writing: Drive - Incubus

Good Day to Quit

So, today I quit the supermarket. No more nights for me after this saturday! Too hasty you cry. On the contrary; this morning I had a second meeting with a bookshop who then offered me a job. Yay. It is less hours and less money, but it does mean I can get back to the reality of not working nights. I still have to stack shelves; but with lovely books instead. And hopefully as we're getting towards the dreaded *whispers* Christmas, there'll be some extra hours going. All in all a happy day.

// Task: Take at least 5 photos - Done (Yesterday's task also complete)
// song at time of writing: The skin of my yellow coutry teeth - Clap your hands say yeah

Simple Task

So, each day I'm going to set myself a simple task - just to keep my mind ticking over. Todays task is to read for at least 30 minutes (so ok, I haven't actually done it yet but I will by the end of the day; well by the time I go to sleep which I class as the end of the day).

What I'll do is write my task and whether or not I successfully completed it at the end of my posts - sounds quite regimented but I'm in that kind of mood.

And in other news.. hehe.
Started GCSE today. Thought it was only going to be a quick enrolment; ended up being the full 2 and a half hours introduction to the course sort of class. Was good though - quite looking forward to getting stuck in; sketch books and all (never thought I'd hear myself saying that!) The other people seem cool enough. We had to do this introduction memory type thing, I really don't like things like that but it wasn't too bad. For once I wasn't sat in the corner not talking to anyone which is good - I think I made a good effort in all honesty and I pat myself on the back for that.

// Task: Read for at least 30 minutes - Pending
// song at time of writing: Selfless, cold and composed - Ben Folds Five

State of Mind

It is though isn't it? It's all just a state of mind.

So I slept until 3pm today; merely because I couldn't sleep last night and didn't until gone 4.30am. Night shift is not my idea of fun. Well, maybe it would be somewhere else, with different people. Circumstance means everything.

However, enrollment day tomorrow. I will be starting a GCSE in photography, one evening a week. When I woke up this afternoon I really wished I'd taken the 2 year course, but then I go through the reasons again as to why I made the right choice. I don't know; is it going to be something I'll always regret? Don't they say no regrets? I guess it's one of those things you can only reflect on when it's not this moment in time. I've done a degree, and now I'm about to do a GCSE - it makes perfect sense.

Teaching myself QuarkXPress at the moment. I think it's just my way of trying to do something of use - even if I will never use it. Still, applying for jobs all over the country is boring me now so I need something to occupy my mind. If I'm not busy I'll just sit and think too much, ponder my worth. There is no happy medium.

// song at time of writing: PVC - Llama Farmers

Midnight Lunch

It's weird, well it's not really weird - probably more like human nature really. All through the week I'm fine (within reason); then boom it hits me on a thursday at around 9pm and doesn't leave until monday morning.

I don't want to do this work much longer. I'm just glad I'm on a temporary contract.

// song at time of writing: Lean On Me - Bill Withers

The Start

Crazy. So somewhere along the way I must have done something right because I got a 2:1.

And now? And now I am using my degree to its full potential obviously; I am working the Night Shift in a Supermarket. But steady, it's only 3 nights a week, anything more than that and I think I'd go mad. I really don't know how people do that for years on end.

It's nearly been 3 months since I finished Uni, as much as I've looked for a job I think I'd enjoy I just can't find one that'll take me on. Catch-22 is all over the place, like a disease. "Sorry, we need somebody with experience" - well you go ahead and hire me, then I'll have experience! Somebody... anybody?! Please..

I've even been offering my services (in web design) practically free to people so I can build on my portfolio. Check the queue at the door - Nope, I can't see anybody there either.

As people have been saying though - 3 months is nothing really, I'll give it time, and if I really want it I'll get there eventually. But do I really, and I mean really want it?! I like to think I do.

// song at time of writing: Like Eating Glass - Bloc Party

Unity is Over

So, I've finished with that part of my life. What do we call it? Education. I can now put the letters BA (Hons) after my name though. Bonus.

Realisation

Everything is superficial

// song at time of writing: Running for home - Matthew Good Band

Save Everything

Why do I not save all the segments of work I do? I figure out how to do something when I don't really need to know how.. but then when it comes up later I can't for the life of me remember how I managed it before because typically I never saved a copy, or if I did I didn't comment it so it doesn't make any sense. I'm beginning to see a running theme of 'if only I listened to people who do actually know better.' And for your own sake source it for later reference.

// song at time of writing: Find Your Way Home - Dishwalla

Template for your life

I'm going to try to rejuvenate my creative juices by staying up as late as possible and waking up early(ish). This is when I used to produce most work, and do the most web creation. It should also hopefully mean that I will finally create my own template for this blog - after all I'm supposedly a web designer so using a given template is a bit of a no no I imagine. My only block so far is to come up with a design, I need something innovative but not too complex; I don't like things that look too busy, but I like to have underlying parts which are harder to find. Any of this making sense?

// song at time of writing: Me and the Moon - Something Corporate

SleepLess

I was more creative when I had insomnia.

Homeward Bound

I'm slack, I know. It's been ages, but in all honesty I don't think anybody reads my blog anyway except for me every now and then so I can remind myself of what I haven't done. Back home for Easter at the moment, 3 weeks. My reason for staying home for that length of time is to try and actually get some of this degree project done. I figured I'd do more work if I was at home - so far, not so good (but it has only been 2 days.)

Got on my mum's exercise bike yesterday, managed 5 minutes. I actually nearly fell over when I got off the bike - I believe I may be unfit. I will attempt to do 5 minutes on the bike every day I am home, and hopefully work up to doing longer by the end of the 3 weeks. I did my 5 minutes today. Mind you, I did agree, whilest intoxicated I must add, to go running with one of my uni friends - I must find a way to get out of that one.

Back to a familiar topic - photography course. I have begun to take action, I have started to look for places that do courses which essentially are not degrees. I say not degrees because I don't think I could cope with anything more than 2 years studying. So, I have found either a fast track a-level, or a national diploma (BTEC); all I need now is some prices and dates of these so I can figure out where to go from here. My only problem; everyone is on holiday! I'm going to have to be patient and wait 2 weeks before I can begin to make any proper decisions. But I want to know now obviously.

Weird. I've forgotten how to write in this thing. Be back soon.

My hand

My hand has gone freakishly dry, just this second. You know when you flatten it out and you can feel the skin stretching. Very odd.