Annotations on Life

Sometimes I wish life was available with subtitles. Everything would make so much more sense. Running translations to aid the clueless. I feel like I need everything spelt out for me at the moment, clearly defined in black and white - none of that reading between the lines business, or searching through the grey matter. And if it was a repeat there would be a nice little 'r' in brackets so you knew you could skip that one and make other plans.

No point doing the same thing twice, right? Even though essentially we do the same thing day in and day out. Why have we moulded society this way? We complain, bitterly I'll add, about how each day is the same as the last (for most people, as there are always exceptions to any rule) but we only truely have ourselves to blame. It's all very well turning out the phrase "If you're not happy, then change." Some of us even attempt the 'change' - but eventually the old ways find us.

It's strange because we're always told that if we run away from our problems then they'll come back to haunt us - I guess the 'change' is just a different form of running, maybe it's running for the less travelled.

I've tried to change a couple of times, but my lack of motivation always fails me, that and I'm far too stuck in my ways - I think I fear the reactions I'd receive from others. It's one of the reasons I've always thought having a completely fresh start would be a good idea - I could reinvent myself. But at the end of the day that would never work for me - it's a person's personality that makes them who they are, and last time I checked personality by-passes weren't available.

Why is it when we say things out loud for others to hear it then becomes jinxed? Is a life of secrets being deceitful?


// song at time of writing: Pioneers - Bloc Party

Live by Limitations

So, I bought some of those books I kept eyeing up today.

The Rules of Attraction - Bret Easton Ellis
Post Office - Charles Bukowski
The Woman Who Walked Into Doors - Roddy Doyle
Blink - Malcolm Gladwell
In Praise Of Slow - Carl Honore

There's a load of others I could probably buy but I thought it was best to limit myself.

We've got the house, so all that's left is packing everything up and moving in next weekend. I say everything, but I will more than likely leave a huge amount of belongings at my parent's house in what will still obviously be 'my' room. It's funny how it takes us so long to actually really move out of home.

// song at time of writing: Smile - Remy Zero

Clocks Lie

Wow, a week and a half left of being a bookseller. I best buy all those books I keep eyeing up before I have to hand back my discount! Which also means it's only 2 and a half weeks until I start my new job. It's all a bit crazy and happening so quickly it doesn't really feel like I've had time to realise what's going on. We've put in the paperwork for the house, fingers crossed it all goes through and we can move in before March 5th - otherwise it'll be the joys of the floor of anybody who'll have us.

(I got a rose in the post today - it made me smile)

// song at time of writing: Something More - Train

Yesterday's News

I keep saying "I'll post tonight" then it gets to tonight and I say "I'll post tomorrow". I think it comes down to not having too much to say, even though essentially a lot is going on. Maybe it's because i seem to be saying everything out loud so much, to different people, so when I get to the computer it's like old news. Maybe.

// song at time of writing: Goodnight - Idlewild

Define Weird

Oo my first tag, thanks Jarvenpa. It's tricky though; '5 weird things about yourself'. I'm not sure what I clasify as weird but I'll give it a go...

1. I have a thing about odd numbers, I guess you could say I'm not a fan of them. If I'm eating biscuits out of a packet I have to have 2, I can't have just 1 or 3.. but I can have any multiples of 2. The same goes for the volume bar on a TV or stereo - it needs to be an even number. It weirds me out if it's not.

2. I itch my hands a lot when there's a big change happening in my life, I guess it's through being anxious. I'm not sure this is such a weird thing, but it can look pretty funny, especially when I take to blowing on my hands instead of itching.

3. I really like stationary, and therefore stationary shops.

4. I don't like going to the cinema, I get really fidgety, yet I'll quite happily sit in my room on my own and watch film after film.

5. I've always wanted to keep a diary, in the traditional sense, but whevener I've tried to put pen to paper I've never been able to write anything down. I think I'm too scared somebody might read my inner most thoughts.

Well, there's 5. Perhaps not weird per se but still. I would tag on but I don't actually know 5 other bloggers so instead I will just invite anybody who reads this page to state their 5 weird things.

// song at time of writing: Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band

Change of Scenery

Wow, I'm moving next month to a different county, with a different postal code. I'll have a new job, a new house, a new street to walk down every day. Let's just say I'm a little anxious, but maybe just maybe a little excited too. Yay for change.

// song at time of writing: Teen Angst - M83