Simple Task

So, each day I'm going to set myself a simple task - just to keep my mind ticking over. Todays task is to read for at least 30 minutes (so ok, I haven't actually done it yet but I will by the end of the day; well by the time I go to sleep which I class as the end of the day).

What I'll do is write my task and whether or not I successfully completed it at the end of my posts - sounds quite regimented but I'm in that kind of mood.

And in other news.. hehe.
Started GCSE today. Thought it was only going to be a quick enrolment; ended up being the full 2 and a half hours introduction to the course sort of class. Was good though - quite looking forward to getting stuck in; sketch books and all (never thought I'd hear myself saying that!) The other people seem cool enough. We had to do this introduction memory type thing, I really don't like things like that but it wasn't too bad. For once I wasn't sat in the corner not talking to anyone which is good - I think I made a good effort in all honesty and I pat myself on the back for that.

// Task: Read for at least 30 minutes - Pending
// song at time of writing: Selfless, cold and composed - Ben Folds Five

State of Mind

It is though isn't it? It's all just a state of mind.

So I slept until 3pm today; merely because I couldn't sleep last night and didn't until gone 4.30am. Night shift is not my idea of fun. Well, maybe it would be somewhere else, with different people. Circumstance means everything.

However, enrollment day tomorrow. I will be starting a GCSE in photography, one evening a week. When I woke up this afternoon I really wished I'd taken the 2 year course, but then I go through the reasons again as to why I made the right choice. I don't know; is it going to be something I'll always regret? Don't they say no regrets? I guess it's one of those things you can only reflect on when it's not this moment in time. I've done a degree, and now I'm about to do a GCSE - it makes perfect sense.

Teaching myself QuarkXPress at the moment. I think it's just my way of trying to do something of use - even if I will never use it. Still, applying for jobs all over the country is boring me now so I need something to occupy my mind. If I'm not busy I'll just sit and think too much, ponder my worth. There is no happy medium.

// song at time of writing: PVC - Llama Farmers

Midnight Lunch

It's weird, well it's not really weird - probably more like human nature really. All through the week I'm fine (within reason); then boom it hits me on a thursday at around 9pm and doesn't leave until monday morning.

I don't want to do this work much longer. I'm just glad I'm on a temporary contract.

// song at time of writing: Lean On Me - Bill Withers

The Start

Crazy. So somewhere along the way I must have done something right because I got a 2:1.

And now? And now I am using my degree to its full potential obviously; I am working the Night Shift in a Supermarket. But steady, it's only 3 nights a week, anything more than that and I think I'd go mad. I really don't know how people do that for years on end.

It's nearly been 3 months since I finished Uni, as much as I've looked for a job I think I'd enjoy I just can't find one that'll take me on. Catch-22 is all over the place, like a disease. "Sorry, we need somebody with experience" - well you go ahead and hire me, then I'll have experience! Somebody... anybody?! Please..

I've even been offering my services (in web design) practically free to people so I can build on my portfolio. Check the queue at the door - Nope, I can't see anybody there either.

As people have been saying though - 3 months is nothing really, I'll give it time, and if I really want it I'll get there eventually. But do I really, and I mean really want it?! I like to think I do.

// song at time of writing: Like Eating Glass - Bloc Party

Unity is Over

So, I've finished with that part of my life. What do we call it? Education. I can now put the letters BA (Hons) after my name though. Bonus.

Realisation

Everything is superficial

// song at time of writing: Running for home - Matthew Good Band

Save Everything

Why do I not save all the segments of work I do? I figure out how to do something when I don't really need to know how.. but then when it comes up later I can't for the life of me remember how I managed it before because typically I never saved a copy, or if I did I didn't comment it so it doesn't make any sense. I'm beginning to see a running theme of 'if only I listened to people who do actually know better.' And for your own sake source it for later reference.

// song at time of writing: Find Your Way Home - Dishwalla

Template for your life

I'm going to try to rejuvenate my creative juices by staying up as late as possible and waking up early(ish). This is when I used to produce most work, and do the most web creation. It should also hopefully mean that I will finally create my own template for this blog - after all I'm supposedly a web designer so using a given template is a bit of a no no I imagine. My only block so far is to come up with a design, I need something innovative but not too complex; I don't like things that look too busy, but I like to have underlying parts which are harder to find. Any of this making sense?

// song at time of writing: Me and the Moon - Something Corporate

SleepLess

I was more creative when I had insomnia.

Homeward Bound

I'm slack, I know. It's been ages, but in all honesty I don't think anybody reads my blog anyway except for me every now and then so I can remind myself of what I haven't done. Back home for Easter at the moment, 3 weeks. My reason for staying home for that length of time is to try and actually get some of this degree project done. I figured I'd do more work if I was at home - so far, not so good (but it has only been 2 days.)

Got on my mum's exercise bike yesterday, managed 5 minutes. I actually nearly fell over when I got off the bike - I believe I may be unfit. I will attempt to do 5 minutes on the bike every day I am home, and hopefully work up to doing longer by the end of the 3 weeks. I did my 5 minutes today. Mind you, I did agree, whilest intoxicated I must add, to go running with one of my uni friends - I must find a way to get out of that one.

Back to a familiar topic - photography course. I have begun to take action, I have started to look for places that do courses which essentially are not degrees. I say not degrees because I don't think I could cope with anything more than 2 years studying. So, I have found either a fast track a-level, or a national diploma (BTEC); all I need now is some prices and dates of these so I can figure out where to go from here. My only problem; everyone is on holiday! I'm going to have to be patient and wait 2 weeks before I can begin to make any proper decisions. But I want to know now obviously.

Weird. I've forgotten how to write in this thing. Be back soon.

My hand

My hand has gone freakishly dry, just this second. You know when you flatten it out and you can feel the skin stretching. Very odd.

And then

I sat watching the computer screen for a while. And then. I watched it some more. And then. I went to get a penguin from my cupboard. And then. I ate that penguin. And then. I watched the wall for a while. And then. I watched it some more. And then. I tried to get my leg behind my head. And then. I gave up. And then. I did a little bit of work. And then. I read a couple of random blogs. And then. I paced for a while. And then. I drew a nice picture. And then. I went to see what my housemate was doing. And then. I watched her walls for a while. And then. I returned to my room. And then. Well, and then I wrote this.

// song at time of writing: Middle Class Gangsters - Matthew Good Band

THE plan

Installation art. I think it's gonna be my new thing. I quite like it. When I finish uni (which is not such a distant milestone anymore, just a matter of weeks) I will more than likely return home, attempt to live off my parents for a while, maybe transfer from work at uni to somewhere closer to home for a few months, hopefully set up some sort of web free-lance stuff, or join an existing team. Do a course in photography on the sly (side) and as a hobby type thing in the time I have spare I shall endeavor to become an installation artist, win the turner prize award but obviously as an anonymous artist, then create pieces which will crop up randomly thoughout the country in their own right but their ethos will mean people will recognise them as being done by 'that anonymous artist who won the turner prize once.'

That's it.


// song at time of writing: Landslide - Smashing Pumpkins

Money trees

So I haven't picked up a camera properly in ages and I'm supposed to be taking some shots of a band tonight. Little bit scared to be honest, I've never taken photos in that kind of situation before, in front of people (ie. the crowd). Using the shots for the 200 odd cd album covers I'm gonna make for my installation piece. I have gone mad, no doubt about it.

Always wanted to get into photography in a big way, but it's taken a bit of a backseat - figured I should focus on what I may be able to get a better grade out of (fingers crossed). I'll do a course in photography afterwards with that magic money I'm growing on the tress in my garden.

// song at time of writing: Crash - Dave Mathews Band

Breathe again

Ah the relief! Handed my project in yesterday and it feels good. Left most of it to the last minute as usual.. think I actually managed to write twice as much in the last week compared to how much I wrote in the last 4 months.

For part of the project I thought it would be quite funny to put my face in the NME.. (was getting bored of writing and just really needed to do something more fun)




but I didn't stop there, I did another one too, but not a front cover..



Note: I don't actually want to appear in the NME for real.. it was to do with the context of my work which is all about how people obsess over celebrity and impersonate them.

// song at time of writing: Can't Stop - RHCP

All it takes

And then I listen to R.E.M. and all is well with me.

// song at time of writing: So fast, so numb - R.E.M.

What is work? Baby don't hurt me..

eugh. trying to compile my compact thing for my course and I'm finding it very difficult - partly because I feel I need match sticks to hold my eyes open (even though it's only around 7.30), and partly because I haven't a clue what I'm planning on doing so how am I supposed to write it down in a nice formal way?

// song at time of writing: the pleasant sounds of me tapping away at the keys

Tired now

Exactly that.

Polaroid Gone

ok, so it was supposed to be a blog made up from polaroids - interesting snipets of my visual take on every day life. But, me being me, it hasn't amounted to anything. Probably partly because i don't get out much, such is life. So instead this blog will be a kind of diary (but not in the literal dear diary sense) with the odd polaroid every now and again. Just to clarify.

// song at time of writing: Tidal Wave - Longwave

11/01/05

fiction is lies, to lie is a bad thing, so why do we like fiction so much?