Sometimes I wish life was available with subtitles. Everything would make so much more sense. Running translations to aid the clueless. I feel like I need everything spelt out for me at the moment, clearly defined in black and white - none of that reading between the lines business, or searching through the grey matter. And if it was a repeat there would be a nice little 'r' in brackets so you knew you could skip that one and make other plans.
No point doing the same thing twice, right? Even though essentially we do the same thing day in and day out. Why have we moulded society this way? We complain, bitterly I'll add, about how each day is the same as the last (for most people, as there are always exceptions to any rule) but we only truely have ourselves to blame. It's all very well turning out the phrase "If you're not happy, then change." Some of us even attempt the 'change' - but eventually the old ways find us.
It's strange because we're always told that if we run away from our problems then they'll come back to haunt us - I guess the 'change' is just a different form of running, maybe it's running for the less travelled.
I've tried to change a couple of times, but my lack of motivation always fails me, that and I'm far too stuck in my ways - I think I fear the reactions I'd receive from others. It's one of the reasons I've always thought having a completely fresh start would be a good idea - I could reinvent myself. But at the end of the day that would never work for me - it's a person's personality that makes them who they are, and last time I checked personality by-passes weren't available.
Why is it when we say things out loud for others to hear it then becomes jinxed? Is a life of secrets being deceitful?
// song at time of writing: Pioneers - Bloc Party
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1 comment:
Well, glad you are posting, glad you did get your house, and made your move (I suppose?)--
and yes, wouldn't subtitles be wonderful, or road signs that would pop out now and then and say "that way, not this"!
When I was around 10 I used to repeatedly wait for a visitation from an angel or something like an angel with the map to my life--"what's my true destiny and path?" I was an odd kid.
And you are right, we take much with us, wherever we wander--but give it time, is my advice to you. It all seems to come a bit clearer.
As for secrets and honesty--interesting question.
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